; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
