I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
