haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
