But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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