Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Someone shit on the floor
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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