I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
