I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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