i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
