This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
