i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize