i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Slut skills are useful in every country.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
