you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
my liver is dry heaving
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
