So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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