I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
