maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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