I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize