I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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