On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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