i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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