He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
