cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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