she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
