haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
