he shaved USA in his pubs
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize