And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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