I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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