Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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