But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
porn star boner night. come get it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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