STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
