Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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