She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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