i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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