Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
