I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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