just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
