Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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