Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
