So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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