Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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