Sry I called you an 8
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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