take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Congratulations! We have a period
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