So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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