Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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