she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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