I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
