I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
