girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
