She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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