I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
