Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize