She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
