This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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