I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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