i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
