Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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