absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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