I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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